Effeminate Lies
by Ri-Ryn
Summary: In which Seidou doesn't quite realize Sawamura's female and said pitcher doesn't really know it either. Feminine wiles? Like Hell. (light Fem!Eijun x all) (Genderbending One-shots) [Requests Accepted]
1. Strike - Contact Play

**Title:** Effeminate Lies

**Author:** Ri-Ryn

**Genre:** Humor/General

**Word Count:** 1014

**Rating:** M* (Content suitable for Mature Teens) / +T

**Disclaimer:** Diamond no Ace belongs to Yuji Terajima.

**Summary:** In which Seidou doesn't quite realize Sawamura's female and said pitcher doesn't really know it either. Feminine wiles? Like Hell. (light Fem!Eijun x all) (Genderbending One-shots)

**Warnings:** Language/Cursing.

**Chapter:**1 Strike - Contact Play

**A/N:** I adore the idea of Eijun as a female with no self-awareness, period. Not that I'm not a fan of yaoi with Eijun x Seidou or just about any viable baseball player! I do consider any requests I get and some of these oneshots might blossom into actual chapter stories or longer oneshots. This chapter was so awkward to write yet funny, in my opinion. She's surrounded by wolves.

**Music:** "Naruto Ost: Sexiness"

* * *

1 Strike – Contact Play

* * *

Eijun sighed, her binder uncomfortable under her uniform shirt after a day of practice in the heat. She picked at the clips holding it on the outside of her shirt, a frown in place. She'd better take it off before eating and come back to the already full dining hall or she'd be miserable…

"Careful Sawamura or they'll never grow."

Eijun growled, whipping around to see the official catcher for Seidou grinning cheekily, looking to rile her up. "Shut-up bastard Miyuki!"

Miyuki simply shook his head at the pitcher. Too easy. "I bet baseballs beat you. You'll never find a man and you'll live your youthful high school life single."

"I don't want to hear that from_ you_, Mr. Forever Alone!" Eijun hissed.

Miyuki shrugged. "I choose to be. I don't have time for girls, not that they don't chase after me." He finished the statement with a smug grin for emphasis.

Eijun glared before looking down. She didn't want a guy after her solely for her breast size, but… She glared harder. Maybe it did make a little bit of difference? Did size matter, or shape? "Hmm…" Eijun tucked her hands inside her shirt, fishing around a bit to find the straps of her binder and slide them off since she was wearing a sports bra.

Miyuki raised a curious eye brow as Chris walked up, seeing the ensuing fight to happen and hopefully stop it. Why were her arms in her shirt? "Sawamura-" Chris made a strangled noise deep in his throat as Miyuki blushed.

"Indecent tomboy." Miyuki muttered, unable to tear his eyes away.

Eijun grinned, she'd finally undone the binder and now slid it down her pant legs from under her shirt and off, discarding it on the floor before sliding her arms properly back into her uniform sleeves and scrutinizing her breasts again. Eijun stuck her tongue out in thought, moving her hands up to squeeze the now more prominent mounds. They were squishy, and very shapely, but only borderline A into B cup perhaps. She didn't really know. "_I_ think they're nice enough." She squeezed again, rubbing them together in her hands.

The entirety of Seidou's baseball team was frozen, watching as their idiotic pitcher gave a free show surrounded by almost 90 teenage males with minds well acquainted with the gutters of puberty.

Eijun felt tears well up because maybe they weren't up to par. She looked up to the one man who'd been straight with her from the start. The man she respected most on the team. "Chris-senpai…" It should've been a whining, complaining voice but came out more of breathy moan to any boy in the room with the state of their minds. "They're not _that_ disappointing, are they? I mean, their perfectly round if not small. And I can't fit one into _my_ palm, but boys have larger ones, right?" Eijun took a step forward, pouting with the barest of tears in her eyes: distraught.

Chris was also distraught and stepped back as she advanced. Sure, he never gave much thought to dirty magazines or the opposite sex. He didn't have that choice here. "Th-they're?" He choked as she glanced up from damp eye lashes. Eijun was cute, adorable really in the way a tomboy only could with a shaggy pixie cut that framed her face and golden brown eyes that gleamed when she pitched and shown when she smiled.

"They're _what_?"

The little spit-fire could was also a sporadic seductress that could give the sultriest look without ever realizing it. Not that her pitching control wasn't coming around, but really, it was those _eyes_ and that _intense _focus of hers that were truly _dangerous_.

"Chris-senpai?" Eijun fisted her hands into her upperclassman's shirt, drawing close. He would never let her down, he was her senpai. She gazed at him sharply, expectance in her eyes.

Chris swallowed, hands having nowhere to go unless he lost any semblance of control and they found his sweet, **devilish** kohai's petite waist.

The injured catcher choked on the dry tongue fumbling in his mouth for some semblance of human speech that wouldn't be sexual harassment, not that Sawamura would know the difference apparently. "Fine." He mumbled, looking anywhere but her. "You're young, there's still room to grow." He could've smacked his head into the wall for that one. Sure, he gave that advice every time her pitches where lacking, but it sure as hell didn't apply to this situation!

It seemed to appease the first year, though, as she whipped her head around to Miyuki. "Hah, you bastard, take that! Chris-senpai said they can still get bigger!"

Miyuki and Chris both gave way from red to a deeply rooted crimson as they imagined such changes taking place.

Eijun paid no head, taking Miyuki's dismissal of her exclamation as a challenge. "Just you all wait!" She cupped her assets, lifting them through her shirt. "They'll be Cs in no time!"

Kuramochi, a permanent pink, had to laugh at his roommate's idiocy. "Right Sawamura," he kept laughing, "you can do anything if you put your mind to it!"

Eijun cried with relief in her eyes. "You believe in me, Kuramochi-senpai!" She flung herself at her elder, sitting on the dining room bench and finding himself engulfed in the demure peaks.

_**The bastard.**_

Chris quickly reined her back from her unintentional fulfillment of the shortstop's fantasy.

"Sawamura-kun," said pitcher looked to her senpai. "Why don't you go back to your room and come back with…" Chris struggled, "the _appropriate female_ garments on?" Please.

Eijun scratched her head, confused. "I'm wearing a sports bra, though, Chris-senpai. Did you want me to put my binder back on?"

Every pair of unrestrained male eyes, Miyuki and Chris included, found her chest again.

Oh…

_Oh…_

Maybe she _could_ do anything she put her mind to. It wouldn't be the first time she threw them for a loop and proved them wrong after all. This time, she could brag all she wanted even. No one would have the time or mind set to shut her up.


	2. Strikes - Appeal Play

**Author:** Ri-Ryn

**Chapter:** 2 Strikes – Appeal Play

**Word Count:** 955

**Rating:** M* (Content suitable for Mature Teens)/ +T

**Disclaimer:** Diamond no Ace belongs to Yuji Terajima.

**Warnings:** Strong Language/Cursing.

**A/N:** I AM TAKING REQUESTS. *cough* That aside, **silvertwilightgemini **– I am working on your request right now and it's in the works with an oblivious Eijun being hit on and the reactions of Seidou. Also, all the chapter titles are baseball terminology if you're curious.

**A/N #2:** I don't know if baseball players do this, but a lot of sports teams (professional and otherwise) do for some reason, like football. Le "slapping of your teammate's butt" is something I'll never quite understand. Or Eijun, the idiot.

* * *

2 Strikes – Appeal Play

* * *

"Yes, yes, yes!" Eijun jumped up and down from the pitcher's mound, the final score 4-13 in Seidou's favor against Osumairu Industrial: a formerly rising team shut down by a combination of Tanba's pitching followed by Kawakami and Furuya, Eijun entrusted with closing the game in an unusual game call. Said girl watched as teammates, on the field, the dugout and the stands, swarmed her.

She jumped lightly as hands began patting her backside, and it seemed the team had doubled in size if the number of hands were what she was counting by. She grinned, remembering how oddly uncomfortable her old junior high teammates were when she slapped their butts. (And disappointed, because what winning team didn't have _that_ kind of spirit?)

"Ack-!" Eijun grunted as she was pulled from the swarm of males by strong hands behind her. She turned, half expecting that bastard Miyuki to start complaining on her list of 'could've been better', but was surprised to see Haruichi red from head to toe. Ryosuke stood off to the side, a disappointed frown of his face in spite of the win.

Haruichi was Eijun's friend and Ryosuke usually let idiots suffer at the hands of their own naïveté and decisions: harassing unsuspecting girls? He wasn't okay with that. So, even if Eijun was a moron, she was a female one, which meant this was a no-go in his books. Ryosuke glared, eyes the tiniest bit slit open, and the majority of the team (also known as the ones taking advantage of their stupid pitcher) bolted, leaving Eijun alone with the Kominato brothers. He sighed.

"Eh?" Eijun watched in confusion as her teammates ran like Hell, away from her, and turned to Haruichi again. "Harucchi? Why'd you do that?" She tilted her head to the side, her piercing eyes following the replacement second baseman's every move.

Said boy blushed harder before making his reaffirming his decision, he already came to the conclusion he'd protect her. "Eijun-chan."

The pitcher glared, expecting a correction.

Haruichi squirmed, "_Ei-chan_," he corrected, watching her face light like a match and sighing internally. "You…you shouldn't let them _do _that, Ei-chan."

Eijun scrunched her face up in confusion, looking from Haruichi to Ryosuke. "Do what, Harucchi, Nii-san?"

Ryosuke sighed, remembering _why_ he left idiots alone. Because they were insufferable and didn't learn until it bit them in the ass. Problem was, that's _exactly_ what it was doing already. "Letting the team do what they were before, Sawamura-chan."

Eijun felt her jaw tighten, frustration building because this just didn't make any sense to her. "And that is **what** exactly? Congratulating me?"

"N-n-no," Haruichi stuttered, "it was…_how _they did it."

Eijun stuck her tongue out in thought. "You mean when they slapped my ass? I mean, it's not a one way street. I got theirs too, so it's only fair, right?" Haruichi flailed, a brief 'Ei-chan, you're a lady, language!' being shouted as Ryosuke chuckled. Even dumber than a rock, Eijun was the most interesting woman he'd ever laid eyes on or _heard_. Especially heard.

"Yes, that." Ryosuke interrupted his little brothers in vain lesson of etiquette. "They were, a lot of them, taking advantage of you."

Eijun still didn't get it. "How?" She questioned dumbly. She squeezed her hand. Yup, definitely not the reminiscent sensation of a baseball on her hand but instead the firm buttocks muscles of baseball player's through cotton uniforms. She'd _definitely_ returned the favor. "I know I pat them too."

"Yes," Ryosuke stressed, a little uncomfortable now. "But they _liked _it."

"…I did too." Haruichi squeaked in embarrassment. "It makes me feel like a real part of the team. Besides, I know I've seen them give General a quick-"

The elder gave up, cutting in before his brother passed out at the impropriety that was one Sawamura Eijun. "They were **feeling you up**, Sawamura-chan, not congratulating you."

A second or two passed before it clicked. "Oh…" Eijun blushed. "Because I'm a girl?"

Haruichi nodded sadly, knowing this was tearing the girl up. She wanted to really be part of the team, but somehow her gender constantly showed where she was at a disadvantage or how it separated her from the rest of the guys. "Yeah, sorry Ei-chan."

"I see…" Eijun looked at the ground, not angry but the littlest bit empty, isolated because she could never fully integrate herself into the team. "But you said not all of them?" She asked softly.

"Um, I doubt the regulars would do that, Ei-chan." Haruichi smiled comfortingly. "Miyuki, Kuramochi, Jun, Yuuki, Masuko, Kawakami, and Chris-senpai tachi, I'm sure they only mean well."

Eijun smiled a little. "The regulars, huh?" She thought a moment. "Miyauchi-senpai?"

"_**No.**_" Both stressed, panicking. "I don't even want him congratulating _me_," Ryosuke muttered darkly, remembering the one time he'd been caught off guard by the reserve catcher.

"Right, so I wouldn't let the beasts in the stands near your person, Sawamura-chan." Ryosuke smirked, glad the point was across. "We don't want another repeat, do we?"

"Nah." Eijun shook her head. "Thanks for looking out for me, Harucchi, Nii-san!" Eijun shouted her thanks, bowing as Haruichi stuttered that it was just them looking out for her well-being. "Ah!" Eijun remembered what she forgot to do, running to stand in between both boys, curious as to her sudden exclamation.

Regulars were A-Okay according to them and she hadn't had a chance to make her way to them yet.

"Great game, Nii-san, Harucchi!" Eijun slapped the brother's cheeks hard, giving a light squeeze to show her appreciation for their support today. Ryosuke jumped as Haruichi croaked, crimson and looking for any noise to show his surprise and discomfort.

Eijun grinned characteristically, running off towards the field exit, shouting and waving back to her frozen teammates. "Thanks for having my back today, guys!"

She ran, happy with the turn out, and feeling a little closer to the Kominato brothers. They had her back so she would have theirs too.


	3. Strikes - Shutout

**Author:** Ri-Ryn

**Chapter:** 3 Strikes – Shutout

**Word Count:** 1954

**Rating:** M* (Content suitable for Mature Teens)/ +T

**Disclaimer:** Diamond no Ace belongs to Yuji Terajima.

**Warnings:** Strong Language/Cursing.

**A/N:** *Requested by: **silvertwilightgemini** **– **hopefully, this does it justice. Because every sleazebag needs to be taken care of!

**A/N #2:** Next up will be **ShiroSiAnjingPutih**'s request for a bath scene. I'm not quite sure what you want out of it, but I'll try my best and think of something.

* * *

3 Strikes – Shutout

* * *

If there was one way to describe Takahashi Hibiki besides his dashing good looks (because his batting was above decent and pitching average), it was that he was a man seeking to conquer. So, when as a third year he heard about a young spit fire pitching for the school they were facing next? He had to have her. He liked a challenge, no doubt the butch first year of a formally all-male baseball team would be. Hibiki didn't care about personality; he'd already ascertained she wouldn't know how to doll up for his own kicks since she'd chosen to devote the next three years of her life to a _sport's team_. She was rare; she was pure and innocent guaranteed.

Hibiki grinned, letting his tongue swipe his lips in anticipation. He bet she was _**easy**_ and _**fun**_ in a 'novelty' sort of way.

* * *

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

* * *

Hibiki kept his face cool as they lined up and bowed at the game end in their loss. It was fine, though, he had other more _delicate_ priorities to attend to. He eyed the back-up pitcher #18, Sawamura Eijun. He'd wrinkled his nose in disgust as the masculine name initially until he heard her teammates call her 'Ei-chan.' Now that? That he could get behind as 'Ei-chan' found herself moaning and writhing in an inexperienced deed of pleasurable amusement under his body later. She wasn't half-bad, either, at 5' 9" and a slim body to fit. Her chest could use some work, but her face was a natural one, easy to look at but nothing to remember in his humble opinion.

Hibiki made his move as they started returning to their dug outs, finding her standing next to a short pink haired boy he vaguely recalled as a pinch hitter and the other battery formation of Furuya and Miyuki. He had nothing to worry about for the former two, getting his plan around their shrewd catcher would take a bit of work since the prey in question was dumber than rock. Still, better than some of his other bang trophies he collected in the past.

"Hello, Sawamura-san?" He offered a refreshing smile as Sawamura turned her attention to him, Miyuki narrowing his eyes at his approach. Ah, so the catcher wasn't a blind eye to his exploits. "Right?" He prompted.

Eijun nodded slowly, remembering the boy before her as a lack luster pitcher from the match beforehand. "Yeah," she said, unsure. "Did you need something…?"

"Takahashi." He offered his hand in a western greeting which she took, shivering because his hand was cool; something it wouldn't be if he'd tried his hardest. "Takahashi Hibiki."

"Takahashi-san." She filled in.

"That's alright." Hibiki winked 'good naturedly' in her direction as Miyuki looked on in pure distaste. "Hibiki is fine."

This guy was hell in a wrapped hand-basket. Miyuki gestured the younger Kominato brother over, also sporting a look of disgust at such blatant, impure intent. "Go call Tanba-san and Kawakami over, okay? This guy is bad news. And tell Chris-senpai that a 'Takahashi Hibiki' is trying to rob his protégé's cradle." The first string catcher spoke soft, quick, and subtly to not attract the filth's attention from _**their**_ pitcher.

Haruichi nodded. "Do you want me to call Nii-san over?"

Miyuki smiled ever so slightly. "No, not yet. Tell Ryosuke-senpai that he needs to talk with Igusa's pitch alone later on, maybe let Chris-senpai and Kuramochi tag along? I'll hold the bus for their group bathroom break."

Haruichi nodded, pleased with the outcome before darting off. Miyuki clicked his tongue in anger because damn it, Takahashi moved _fast_ and wasn't the male competency counterpart to Sawamura. He was _good_. Seidou and Miyuki himself (it wasn't overestimation either) were just **better**.

"So…!" Miyuki grinned maliciously, ready to set his counter attack up. "Not bad, Takahashi-senpai. You've got good control, better than Sawamura-chan here."

He ignored the indignant cries of 'Bastard Miyuki, whose side are you on!? And who the _Hell_ is Sawamura-_chan_?' Miyuki watched pleased before the tables turned, Hibiki handling it easily.

"No, I really think Sawamura-chan here is something_ special_. A diamond in the rough." Hibiki smiled at the blushing pitcher before delivering his next line, clearly intending it for Miyuki. "And _everyone_ covets diamonds, so much they just want to run their _hands_ down them with a _kiss _or two, perhaps."

"I'm not _that _great." Eijun replied with an immodest blush, misunderstanding the tangent of the conversation entirely.

Hibiki gauged Miyuki reaction carefully. "No, you _are_."

Miyuki felt like gagging. Yes, he was a self-aware bastard with a penchant for being a teasing little shit when he damn well felt like it. He wasn't, however, a horny pervert looking to rut with any 'piece of meat' that caught his attention. Miyuki was an ass, not a poor excuse for a human being. There was no way Takahashi was laying a hand on their angelic, loud mouthed pitcher- tonight or any night. If things worked out, Mr. 'Hibiki is fine' wouldn't be seeing the light of day ever again after this little stint.

He grinned, feeling Kawakami and Tanba come up behind him, aware of the Igusa student's reputation. "Well, true. But she has a ways to go." Kawakami quietly placed himself between Hibiki and Eijun, laying a hand on her shoulder to not interrupt a conversation between 'Senpai.' Hibiki glared.

"Bu…but Kawakami-_senpai_…" Eijun whined, enjoying the praise because it certainly never came from _her _team. The first time she meets a nice boy who realizes her potential and THE _bastard_ of Seidou _had_ to shoot his opinion full of holes, really? Kawakami shushed her.

"Yes," Tanba piped up, eyeing the enemy and seeing where Miyuki was going with this. "I found that sidearm of yours interesting. Not too polished, but not bad. Is it new?"

Hibiki was ready to retort until Kawakami cut in. "I'm a sidearm pitcher, too. Perhaps I can give you a tip or two, Senpai."

"Oi, what about me?" Eijun pouted.

"Yes, I believe I was having a conversation, a long one, with her alone." Hibiki made to move closer to Eijun, stopping when Tanba clutched his shoulder in a vice grip with one hand.

"We're all fellow pitchers here, though. Isn't that right Furuya?" The Hokkaido native simply nodded, not too concerned one way or another with the life decisions of his rival as long as they didn't affect her pitching.

"That's right, as a catcher especially, you interest me." Miyuki walked up, adding himself to be body barrier number two between Eijun and the sleaze bag. He swung his arm around the other's shoulder, yanking him close and tightening his grip. Hibiki grit his teeth, glaring as the _pressure_ _around his throat_ tightened.

"Hey, I wanna' hear more about what he thought of my pitching." Eijun stomped her foot, having had enough. She angrily made her way to a sheepish Miyuki and stole Igusa's pitcher back. She tightly clutched his arm to her chest and Miyuki didn't miss the way the other's eyes narrowed in anticipation.

_Oh __**Hell**__ no…_ Miyuki brought himself up, ready to start a more physical fight before catching sight of the final shut out behind the 'couple.'

"Before that, Sawamura-chan, let me discuss with Miyuki and you, specifically you, what you two did wrong, shall we?" And like a naughty kitten, hands and legs dangling while being lifted six inches off the ground by the scruff of her uniform, Eijun found herself in the capable hands of Chris and being carried away without enough time to complain. (And it was Chris-senpai, what complaints could she possibly voice?) Miyuki followed after, a suspicious lightness to his gait as he turned his head, enough to catch the eye of Hibiki and gave the other a shit-eating grin.

Hibiki's eyes burned holes into the backs of Seidou's catcher and manager. This wasn't over…

* * *

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

* * *

Eijun stewed on the bus, glaring daggers at everybody who tried to talk much less sit with her while they waited for her seniors to return from the bathroom. Sure, she got one compliment today before Miyuki and every other damn pitcher made themselves a nuisance. Plus, she was scolded _terribly_ by her beloved Chris-senpai, who was angrier than usual.

_Today sucked, even if we won._ Eijun saw out the corner of her eye as Nii-san, Kuramochi, and Chris-senpai finally returned, the injured catcher looking decidedly refreshed after the bathroom break that she couldn't bring herself to say anything as he sat himself down in the seat beside her. _Must've been quite the load he had to get out_, she mused absently about their break.

"Sawamura-chan."

Eijun nearly jumped, head whipping to her senpai in excitement before recalling her anger from before and glaring a little bit. What she _didn't_ expect was for Chris to smile softly, hand reaching down to fondly ruffle her already tousled hair, and with the nicest, sincerest voice-

"_Nice game._"

Eijun blushed head to toe, head forgoing any and all memories of that day other than '_**He praised me**_.'

Miyuki sourly glared from the seat behind. He could just _see_ the hearts radiating from her. And really? He _himself_ was still in bad graces with their idiot pitcher while it took Chris-senpai _two words_ to worm his way back into good standings.

He grinned softly. Well, all's well that ends well. He looked back behind him, seeing Kuramochi and Ryosuke-san sitting catty corner to him both give a nod in confirmation, Takahashi Hibiki no longer a concern or thought to Eijun, much less a danger.

'_Nice game?'_ Nah, that wasn't quite accurate. He gave a thumbs-up, mouthing a 'Well played.'

* * *

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**Omake:**

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

* * *

"Chris-senpai!"

The third year turned, watching as his loud mouth pitcher skidded to a halt, arms loaded with what seemed to be a haul of anything from fruits to water and more.

He quirked an eyebrow, prompting her to continue.

"I noticed your stomach wasn't doing too hot. I know what it's like when the pipes are a little stuffed up, ya' know?"

Chris really should've paid more attention to the fact they were in the full dining hall, now silent, and that anything concerning Sawamura wouldn't end so easily.

He finally graced the groceries with more than a cursory glance…

_Cranberries, tea, Apple Cider vinegar, cucumbers, a _watermelon, _Juniper, Buchu…_ Chris felt it click, head whipping up to stop her but it was to late

"This way you won't struggle so much in the bathroom next time you have to take care of business, Chris-senpai! I called Oji-chan up and asked him about natural diuretics so you won't be uncomfortable since, ya' know, being old and all it happens to him too!"

Well, he could either tell her that no, his stomach condition was just fine and he was in no need of _assistance_; he had just done something undeniably illegal to a another earlier that involved physical and mental harm or…

Chris smiled with the grace of a Saint as if his kouhai hadn't just gave him anti-diarrhea remedies in front of the entire team without remorse, brimming all sunshine and daisies and no sense for secrecy or shame. "Thank-you, Sawamura-chan."

Somewhere, vaguely, he heard the first laugh before the rest followed suit, Eijun confused why anyone would laugh at someone feeling ill.

He'd have to ask if Miyuki's roommates wouldn't mind trading rooms with him for the night so he could teach the little shit a lesson in actual humility.

"That was very thoughtful of you to do this for me, though perhaps you could hand me such items in private next time? Your concern is duly noted."

Eijun nodded vigorously (Chris wondering absently if it gave her whiplash.), happy to be helpful.


End file.
